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Star

[ website | mii espacio ]
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forget about "us" [26 Feb 2007|01:35am]
I agreed to try things out once more, but for what reason? I know things between us has been like an endless rollercoaster.Sometimes things happen the way they do for a certain reason. I'm not gonna sit here and deny I ever had any feelings towards you because I'd be fooling myself and anyone who actually knows. You constantly tell me how much you miss me and want to spend time with me, but where is the time when it's not given? Just when you got annoying I gave you the benefit of the doubt, but why? I sometimes set myself up seriously


I decided to give you another chance to prove me wrong, to change my views on you & what did you do? Just go about your life and forget we had plans we were gonna spend time together. I'm not an idiot, nor am I gonna sit here and wait around for you. I gave all I had to give, I have nothing to offer you and you to me. I'm a strong believer and things do happen for a reason, the reason being we don't belong together and we never really did. Your lines, your lies may work on others, but not on me atlas not anymore.

Just forget about me, what I look like, & my screen name. I don't want anymore apologies all I wanted was you to try give the whole us thing a chance. I wasn't asking to get married or a diamond ring, was it that much of a difficult task? I suppose it was you & I would've never worked out the way I wanted it to. I'm fine & smiling everyday for greater things, you never brought me down or made me cry atleast I'm still standing strong and not giving a fuck.

People like you don't deserve a tear from anyone, lies after lies.Decieving & just plain fake. Grow the balls to tell me how it is rather than just hiding. People could only take so much and I of coarse have reached my peak. I hope you find someone who will love you for the person you're a liar and a deciever.I could move on and have a clear conscience,but you...you have to live with being the asshole that you're. Grow up already you're 21 not 15 if your scared of commitment then just say so don't pretend everything is good when it's not. Have a nice life.


Let this be a lesson to all, giving someone a second chance is taking risk in which we set ourselves in. Just because he say's nice things, & all the right things doesn't always mean it's what he feels. I'm not saying all guys are the same, but we as human beings have to have our guards up always.
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my sweet valentine [09 Feb 2007|04:35pm]
This week has been fairly good,I've gotten a lot of laundry done.Yesterday Frankie asked me to be his Valentine it's was so cute =].I don't know what's gonna happen with us we're just taking things real slow & it's nice so far.Next weekend I leave to Orlando which I'm happy about =) anyways im speaking to Frankie so i'll update later

peace 0ut
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color my sky pink =) [03 Feb 2007|09:04am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Yesterday was uneventful blah,I took the best nap woke up got online & got so bored =/.I need a job because not having one sucks a lot,I'm not use to not having one sucks bollas.I recieved 7 of the 25 cd's I orderd they need to hurry up with th
em =].I need a new cd case the 3 that I own are full & I have cd's stacked up. My hair needs to hurry up & grow already I'm gonna try the whole long hair thing.I haven't had long hair since I was in 8th grade Miami is to hot to even maintain or have to put up with long hair.My hair is a decent color at the moment brown with the highlights going away already =/. 

I want a boyfriend,but I always attract all the old & nasty perverted ones =[. 
I think I'm done here maybe something happens later who knows.
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back again [02 Feb 2007|12:15pm]
I'm aware it's been forever,but I'm back and maybe this time for good.My life is a little crazy right now,but im trying to deal with it and i'm doing just fine.I got rid of all my friends and I've been hanging out with the family a lot these 2 past months.I'm going to Orlando in two weeks our family trip of the year,I don't have a job right now hopefully soon though.

I woke up this morning feeling like crap sucks =/ my stomach hurts,but I'm scared to eat anything because i've been puking =[.I hope everyone is doing great.I redid my whole journal because it was out of wack & of coarse it's looking cute duh.Anyways til next time be good take care

toodles
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venting [16 Oct 2006|09:38pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

It's been forever since i last posted on here I guess we only use our journals when no one is there for you to speak with when you have to let shit out,stuff that people will never understand about you =[.It's been a month now since i have been talking to my ex the love of my live him and I have been going at it for 7 years now and 3rd time should be a charm right?It just sucks that he's miles away from me the one person whom I feel has been here for me always and it sucks that he's just so far away.Okay so what happens when I fight with him who do I have to speak with frankly no one I try telling my bestfriend im depressed and what do I get?Loser okay i'm not perfect sorry not what i was fishing for,but it's the response i got from him the same night he comes home and instead of asking how are you engage conversation he didn't even bother i guess i just somehow didn't deserve that much.It just sucks i could be botherd by something and just have no one to talk to about it I just really have to suck it up and forget about it.I hate holding shit in I like to talk,i love advice i guess the thought that someone is actually listening shows that they care.I don't think my bestfriend takes me seriously and it sucks I have just stoped even bothering i mean seriously why bother someone who frankly doesn't give a flying fuck if im happy,sad etc?I'm aware that people have their own problems but fuck what about me im not perfect and I sometimes need someone to talk to.I guess I'll just start writing in my journal again vent on here and let shit out.I'm not fishing for new friends or pity in anyway.I just want to be taken into consideration once in a while.I'm there for other and put up with shit that i shouldn't have to so why can't you sit down and talk to me for atleast 5 mins is it to much to ask for?You know I hate being fake I to hide my sadness with a smile a simple laugh and no one ever knows.I cry because i care,i try to be a good friend and maybe im not good enough.I think im done here im tired,sad the whole nine yards

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hey [16 Nov 2005|03:04pm]
[ mood | awake ]

Hey everyone, I know it's been forever now let me try to fit in as much as possible. Everything in my life is almost where I want it to be. I'm in search of a second job and I pretty much have it down to where too so that shouldn't be such a mission.The job I have now is not the best paying job,but atleast I don't wake up every day wondering and complaining about it I love it there,I get along with everyone and the job is quiet easy.My life alone has been good,family and friends wise everyone knows I'm not that big on having a lot of friends and honestly I'm okay with that.Love life? hmm intresting lol there is none at the moment, but soon to be maybe? I'm talking to a guy named Dennis he's the sweetiest guy ever but like every other guy ends up being poop.I'm taking it real real slow and letting it go at it's own pace.You would think I have a lot to write but I really don't =xI will probably dedicate more time to my journal and write more things.

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here I go [08 Sep 2005|02:01pm]
[ mood | happy ]

I see myself not writing in this journal ever,my bestfriend updates his journal more often than me lol.0ok so let's see there so many new things I don't know where to start.I finally left Wendys and I know work at Hollywood Videos which i love it there,it's so chillin plus the people are work with are super nice.I haven't movd out yet,but i'm working on that.I officially gave up on Mike I got tired of waiting and especially waiting for nothing.He promised me that things will be better and that things will all fall into place,but I just saw myself become so unpatient and for people who actually know me I'm a very patient person.I've been doing the usual clubbing and having a good o'l time.We let someone in the little 2some we use to have now it's 3 of us David,Noel,and I and it's quiet nice.He will actually be our third roommate.Things are there practically the same except a lot better than what it use to be.David and I just get closer and closer which is good I love the bond we have with one another.


I'm talking to someone or if you would like to put it like that,His name is David he's such an amazing guy he really is hopefully things will slowly develope.He doesn't live from me and he has insomnia like me lmao.Yet he still is a genuine guy very respectful,funny,and sweet.If things are gonna happen it will,I'm not trying to rush into anything just letting things go at it's own pace.


Labor day weekend was off the chain.I had so much fun and we partied our asses off,this weekend should be a lot of fun we're renting and have fun all over again :] I ran out of this to write =/ so til next time

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depressed.... [27 Jul 2005|02:47am]
[ mood | depressed ]

Well I haven't wrote in here in forever now so I'm gonna try to highlight the most important things.


I quit wendys it's gonna be almost 2 months soon,too much shit i do need a job though so I need to get to the looking.I've been doing the normal going clubbin,and getting drunk having fun with David like we always do.I'm talking to Bradley,and made truce with Raul no more enemies.



David and I were talking today how we both should go back to school,he wants me to go to miami dade with him take the same courses that way we have our classes together and it won't be ackward for neither of us,but I want to go to beauty school it's always been my passion to attend beauty school.He feels if we go to school together I'll motivate him to go to class instead of skipping and getting lazy and just not going.I told him I didn't want to go to miami dade and that I wanted to go to beauty school.He told me that he's gonna move to his mom's house again I love the fact that he really wants to go just to go to school,but then I get so depressed knowing that my bestfriend is gonna be 4rs away from me and it's not like I could drive to his house all the time cause I have no car.I get so depressed even thinking about it.He's my bestfriend,the one I do and tell everything too =[.I started crying and it hurts just even thinking about him leaving and me not having anyone to talk to,say anything to,do the things we do.I know I'll be able to motivate him here but if he leaves i'll be so sad.


I'm gonna go because even thinking about this makes me so sad =x

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I love you too =x [14 Jun 2005|08:02pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Here I go writing my long entry..

Well everything has been really good so far,I mean I don't mean to brag but it's real good and things with David and I are always good.I guess I was always right about David being this good person just needed the right person to open up to and just to be honest to and just say whatever is on his mind.We've been doing the usual clubbin,last week that just passed we went clubbin thurs-sun it was a lot of fun.David was telling me how Frank iming him telling him that Bradley said to him that someone told him that Frank was talking to us telling us shit about him.People just don't know how to find any better reason's why to turn people against David and I.It's funny because like I told Frank we hardly carry on conversations for someone to go ahead and assume something around those lines.I guess some people have nothing better to do,plus people know better that I'm a str8 up person If i need to say something I'll say it I don't beat around the bush.

If Bradley is just looking for an excuse to have people against us it's not gonna work.It's funny how people could actually write things about not making the same mistakes again and yet they go ahead and do the same thing.For example Raul supposevly say's I'm a hyprocrit yet,his own boyfriend the same day he saw that we left him at the gym when prior to that he was in the back seat of David's car making out with him,and then Bradley calls David see what happen now I have this kid crying what do I tell him?funny and when I use to make fun of Raul what would Bradley do?Just laugh and make fun of how he does his eyebrows and does his pedicure n shyt,But really am I a hyprocrit? Bradley just needs to seriously think about things before he takes action on them or trying to atleast.I've never been the type of person to talk shit about someone behind their back because I've never had a problem admiting anything to anyone and people know me very well to even argue with that.

I guess it's my turn to express myself on my journal,Funny how Bradley would talk so much shit about David yet he always use to go ahead and meet all these guys online and get their hopes up n shyt.If I start naming I think I'll never finish lol.See what people don't understand is that I could be a bitch and since I know I have fans on livejournal I could write these things.So don't go telling Frank that I told you something or w.e the case is because first of all we haven't talked for almost 3 months or w.e it is.I'm glad things turned out the way they did because I lost a really dumb friend and then gained David this really nice,but annoying guy lol.So after all that bad talking on your journal about David and I here goes mine.Althought all you write is shit and me well just writing the truth.enough about that...

Sunday David and I were off so I decided to drive to key west to go to a beach over there and just get away,but we didn't find one and w.e =/sucks i ended up driving over there and back with David,my sisters,usagi,sparkie,and myself.I had fun although I was tired of driving =x.Came back and I went to sleep,woke up and chilled with David and my sisters he cooked dinner for us it was so delicious.Today I had class it was fun my test was super easy,I have class tommorow again and another test so hope everything goes good.Everything is preety much good and fun lately =D.Well I'm off muah...

Star

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here it goes,throw it all away [31 May 2005|01:40pm]
[ mood | happy ]

It's been awhile since I've written on here and too much shit has happend since.



Things have been good/bad =[.I've been training for shift this is suppose to be my last week hopefully everything goes good.Why wouldn't it?Things with me have been good nothing new with me,David and I have been good he's been a little down i'm being there for him and he knows that I will never fail him as a friend.Hopefully he gets back his car this week I miss it and I really don't like the durango although it's roomy a lot of space.We've been doing the usual clubbin and having a good ass time.


Last weekend Friday we went to colli and then sat we went to his mom's house and chilled.Got to miami and left to concord and you could say I wasn't in the best mood's ever.Sunday we opened and I stayed with the durango picked him up went to home I went to sleep he called when i was sleeping so I called back and he asked if I wanted to eat so he cooked me dinner @ 1am lol we went on missions lol.It was really good,yesterday I worked and he took me to work and picked me up and cooked dinner for me again it was soo good =D.

If everything goes good we'll be moving next month how exciting =D,We gotta really stop spending so much money =x.David got me a dog he found it and gave it to me,It's so cute and white =D I named him sparkie and David calls him momuru lol w.e that means.I have nothing else to say here goes my entry to my fans =D....

"people could try to act like nothing is wrong,but we know that it's just not the same"

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[27 Apr 2005|02:04pm]
I won't be updating so much seeing that I have no time for anything so I'm gonna update as often as I can.So the rest of the weekend was chill we decided not to go clubbin and it's working,Saturday we worked and after that headed home.Sunday we woke up early and went to Brandsmart and bought a whole bunch of stuff for the appt.We got this awesome microwave oven that comes with a toaster,coffee cups,a shower head,rice maker,utensils,and i forgot what else lol..Then headed to walmart and bought a kaddy,pillows,and starting buying the stuff fr our bathroom.Later that night we decided to go to the movies so we meet up Javi at dolphin mall and then saw all the movies started in a later time so we decide to go eat dinner.We go and have a good ass time like we've been having lately with him.He's such an awesome guy,he's soo sweet,and he defends me from David lol..I hope David and him end up going out because he'll treat David really good.We ended up seeing A lot like love 0mg that movie was soooooo cute I loved it.I so want that movie when it comes out =D...Monday I worked early and yesterday we went to have lunch with Javi I ate some good ass fettucinni alfredo yummie and after that we went shopping for more stuff.I'm so excited for the day to come all we need is our couch and dinning table and we're set..My life couldn't be any better =D everything is going as planned and extra.I'm gonna get off and go play some video games ...
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[24 Apr 2005|04:15am]
[ mood | tired ]

I haven't written in forever so here I go.From my last post everything has been good.David and I found an appartment in kendall and it's so nice ..The apartment is either 2x2 or 2x1 which I really don't see the point in having 2 bathrooms one will do.So David and I decided to make an envelope and put money in there towards the apartment and the things to buy.Javi said he'd buy us a dinner table one of those modern one's which is real nice of him.Tuesday when we went apartment hunting we took Javi along he said the apartment is nice.Plus we saw so many hot guys lol...After that we went to see other one's and then headed to see amittyville that movie was ssoooo goooddd...After that i droped him off home and we talked for a bit and headed home.

I had my two interviews and the one with my district manager went good,but the second one I fucking blew it plus I had all my earings on =x.David said not to worry so i'm not,work has been ok so nothing to complain about.Thursday we went to Wal-mart and bought some house things and we already have in mind what kind of bathroom to get like color wise.I'm so excited to move out with David it shall be so much fun.We already said we're gonna have a house warming party =D.Everyone has to bring something or else lol j.k..

I might be getting my license sometime this or next month so wish me good luck.Friday night David and I did our last clubbin night and did we have fun,except when some drama was there but we got over it =D...I'm suppose to go to sleep soon because I'm going shoppin tommorow with David.

Everyone keep's asking me about Bradley and the only thing I could say,I don't talk to him anymore when really it's the way around he doesn't talk to me.People could go ahead and say w.e they want about me because supposevly I'm being shady but seriously how are you gonna let someone disrespect your bestfriend and thanks Raul I know I'm a bitch,but atleast I don't cry because my boyfriend doesn't pick up my phone calls,or because my boyfriend is chillin with his ex.Yeah you could say I'm a bitch but am I really? You sit and say that I'm being a bitch to Bradley,and then call me a drunk and expect me to accept you.Wow you must think highly of yourself to think that way.I'm a nice person ask anyone,but i guess you just got on my bad side.Thank you from the bottom of my heart.smooches,que viva cuba..

Some people are too fucking much,I'm glad that I'm such a carefree person someone who really doesn't let shit get to them.I really do thank those people who are so quick to judge me.If you want to have a good friend you'll have one,but like always their's people who don't deserve people's kindness..Anyways I'm going to sleep...take care people much.I love you all dearly..

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[12 Apr 2005|05:20pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

Well where do i start? I did my journal over again back to thursday =D..Well last week at work it was soo hectic as hell there were nights that David and I would close short and sunday we were short aswell as tonight it sucked so much.Closing short is the worse thing ever.I felt so bad at work I left to get some motrin let me tell you it worked.As for my weekend I had fun like always...Same shit as always like David quoted yesterday "we stop talking and hanging out with a friend and gain so many more" which is true everyone and their mom always want to chill with David and I and so many people out there.Friday we went to colli and I had a lot of fun.We left and ended up waking up super late for work =x which I really didn't care at all I got an hour more of sleep so we went to work all tired and shit.Got off of work and then came home and naped before going to concord let me just say I have never had so much fun at concord like I did this past saturday.Yesterday we had to close but we decided to go to Oxygen and what not it was pretty packed then they started some rukus so they closed on our ass.We left and went to ozone meet up with carlitos and jennifer and Gabriel happen to be there so we all chilled.We went to ozone to literally just drink and play pool.Just imagine a whole bunch of drunk people playing pool funny shit lol.After that we went to the beach and just walked around and then to Denny's and then I drove home like at 7am.My weekend was pretty exciting I mean it usually goes this same way,but this weekend I had a lot more fun.

I was talking to David last night after he read Angel's journal.He asked me why do people make it seem like i'm such a horrible guy? I don't think David is horrible at all,I mean sure people expect me to say this because he's my bestfriend.David is a real awesome person and if David is ever extremly nice to you just put it this way be very very grateful because David is a very very selective with friends.He's just not friends with just anyone.David may sometimes do his stupid shit,but like I always say people's actions is not what I base my friendship on it's the way he treats me at the end and how much of a good friend he is at the end to me.I wish people somtimes wouldn't be so imature and write so much shit about someone,I would do the same thing about any other friend I don't like people trash talking about any of my friends and that's how Iam.I don't think anyone would like to be on my bad side for unessesary reason's.

anyways i'm outs because I'm going to the mall soon and I need to get ready =D...ttyl muah xoxox

Star

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bored [05 Apr 2005|06:17pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Here I go writing as much as I possibly can ...Work has been the same nothing has changed same people same ol shit.

Friday David and I decided to go to colli and have our good ol time like always =D...He had bought a bottle so we had each 4 shots and headed inside.We saw the same people as always so it was nice I never get tired =D...Saturday I woke up called Bradley and went ahead and planned out having lunch and where so that was settled.I showerd and picked up David because I had stayed with his car.I got there and a few minutes later Bradley did we decided to have chilli's.It's nice that the three of us are starting to chill again it's nice.After that Bradley and David had a long conversation and we went to see if David could go test drive a scion tc but there was only one and the people were taking forever.Those cars are nice but if David gets it manual you know what that means I'm gonna have to learn how to drive manual too..I'm still looking for a car hopefully my mom friends calls her soon to let her know what new cars she's gotten.

Later after that I was driving around and David calls us so we go and meet up with him at pembroke mall where he was with mauhamid so we chill till 9 and make plans.We decide to go to concord and so w.e I come home and try on like 5 outfits and just ended up wearing anything =x.that night we drank and David got so fucked up mind you we had to be at work at 7am so w.e...I drove us to work and made it just 5 mins later.I was sooo tired at work it was horrible but i made it through =x..

That night we decided to go to oxygen and so we did and had oput fun while it lasted not even gonna get into details about that.Yesterday was my day off and today aswell.I'm suppose to call this kid named alex but i guess i'll do that later im gonna go and nap so toodles...

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throw the bitch back in [29 Mar 2005|05:01pm]
[ mood | I feel good as fuck =D ]

Were do I start? The rest of my weekend Saturday went into work and went clubbin afterwards had a lot of fun.I always have fun =D which is always good.Sunday Bradley and I got into another arguement and I believe the last one.I'm not gonna put up with anyone's shit and I learned that everything he gives me is shit.The fact is I'm tired of always having to feel bad and what for so he could tell me im just his "aquaintance" naw take your shit somewhere else where their gonna put up with it because I stop putting up with it long time ago.Everyone that knows me knows it takes soooo much to get on my bad side and for me not to accept you or like you.I guess he's just knows all the wrong things to say to piss me off to make me cry.I have always let myself be so damn gullible fuck that.If I lose his friendship im not gonna make it the big deal i've always had.I always have all these people telling how much of a good person iam and how fucking awesome iam always showing me major love that is what a friend does.Not make you feel like shit like your such a bad friend and doesn't make you cry.I have never said anything to anyone to make them cry or make them feel less than what they are I'm not like that and don't play with people's emotions.That is not my style and never have been and you can't compare that to being the honest bitch that Iam.I never knew that my bitch side would ever have to come out it sucks that some people still don't know how to appreciate someone's friendship.


On a brighter note I will be getting my promotion and my mom is thinking of getting me an avalon so we'll see how everything goes I pray to god everything goes as I've had in mind.Everything else is going soo good which I hope continues to keep going the way it is.I'm going to the fair with David tonight and Angel and Larry so we're gonna have our good ass time.I will post some other time.Take care and thank you for rading my journal they know who im talking about =D...


muah

t o o d l e s

Star

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[26 Mar 2005|03:52pm]
Last night was a night to never forget and I'm gonna leave that at that.God is literally with us all.So last night we decide to hit up colliseum and had the biggest blast ever.We meet up with Angel and he gave me a great big hug it was nice.I meet his friend last night she was nice ,but omg she was bored off her mind la pobre lol..I saw so many people last night it was nice everyone always shows me so much love =D..After colli David and I went to lester's and ate something he was falling asleep so I got his to go.After we got in the car we get a call from Charlie and he calls to go over his house.So I drove to his house I got lost so he meet me up in a gas station.We went and meet his dog pincho lol the funniest dog name.We were all tired so we fell asleep in his bed the three of us i slept soo good =D.Woke up and drove home.I got home at 8:30 or a little later.I got home so fast lol.I'm suppose to go to concord tonight after work so we'll see what's up.Hopefully we head out because I have to do something tonight we'll every weekend lol..

Everything is good like i've always seen it except before there was a lot of tension and what not.It's like I told David last night we've gone through a lot of shit and it's true so much shit could happen in just almost 2 months.We'll im off to work bye

Peeps I saw last night

angel
David (clubbin)
Alex (thing 1)
Mauhamid
Kyle
Charlie
Jonathan *who introduced me to all his friends*
and the people i don't rememeber their name lol
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regret [24 Mar 2005|04:59pm]
[ mood | guilty ]

Ever been in a situation where you wish you knew you'd had the chance to avoid and then you fell right into it?

I have no idea why I said half the shit I said yesterday,and i'm not the type of person to ever regret anything at all I have never regreted anything in my life because like how I say things happen for a reason.Just when I earned David's trust I go ahead and lose it.I guess Iam candy coated by Bradley like someone said,I know David is sooo mad at me and I would understand because I would be mad as hell too.I just wish that he know's how sorry iam and that I regret saying anything at all.I just want to earn his trust all over again even if it takes time to I'm willing to wait as long as it takes.Iam sorry and I'm not just talking shit just to say it.=/

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look away and don't look back.. [22 Mar 2005|12:34am]
[ mood | cold ]

So I'm so bored lol.I decided to go read Bradley's journal and read it people and himself don't understand how much I love him.Sometimes there is just something that one person does that agravates the shit out of you.I mean he stopped talking to me and I did what anyone would've of done and ended up getting a lot closer to David.It's not like we haven't been getting a lot closer anyways =].I guess I never saw the person he is now,It hurts but im trying my best not to show it.I'm being extremly selective from on out.So this is what he writes about me...

Bradley's entry.


I had another arguement wit Fanny. She swears it's my fault, but the one that's at fault is her. I dunno how the fuck your gonna say sumtin and den go around and do something else. She tells me, I will never chyll wit u and the person your talking to, and I will never chyll wit da person David is talking too. What does she do? She goes and chylls wit David and his man last nite. So after I literally beg Fanny to come chyll wit us, and after I hear endless no's... She goes around and chylls wit dem. Fuck up shyt man. And den I look like da bad guy. Nah man, fucked up shyt. Dats why i have decided a while ago, if Fanny can't be there for me, recognizing the reality. Den I don't want her as a friend. A friend is suppose to be there for u regardless the situation. And she has never been there for me after David. Fuck dat and fuck dat bitch.

I might've changed or wha not, but enough is enough. I love her to death and wha not. but she was never there for me when I really needed someone the most. Always there for David. Buying the fuckin bum food, clothes, gas and car washes. Like if the guy can't do it himself. Oh no check this out... He has the NERVE of calling me yesterday asking me for 50 bux. LMFAO... He says he's @ negative 21 in his bank account. Ok. So I tel him, I'll give you the 21 bux so you won't be at negative. He den goes about calling me an asshole. Fuck dat shyt. I go to read his journal and I read dat he will be going to the Bahamas with his man. lol. How the fuck are you gonna ask me for money when your broke ass is going to da bahamas. Nah man. Go fuck your self. He goes and tells me he'll pay me back. Please nigg, you still owe me 1,500 bux from last year. And I'm still waiting to get paid. And I'm still a fuckin asshole right??? hahahaha funny ass shyt.

NE WAYS enough about silly non sense... Cuz it's sillynon nense... If she doesn't want to be there for me and be there for her bestfriend David, it's all good. I'm not gonna hate. After all, I don't hate. I just ignore and move on. Plain and simple. If I see her around, I'm not gonna be shady. I can't be. Afterall she knows things others don't. Atleast we still share something. Pero bueno, time can only tell. Bueno dats bout it. I have to call Seth @ 9:15 and see what's up. Till next time. Peace out


I love him,but will not accept the fact that he could actually say "fuck that bitch"and then he say's im a bad friend.I always feel guilty because somethings happens but this time I just don't give a fuck.I'm just left with memories of Bradley and atleast they're the good one's.We've been looking for apartments last week and this week aswell I'm glad David id excited to move out because so am I.Anyways chatting with a whole peeps online i'll post some other time.Tommorow I have the car to myself kick ass =D...

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[20 Mar 2005|08:09pm]
[ mood | content ]

This weekend was so much damn fun.Friday we headed to Colli and had our good ol time.Left the club like at 4am and then went to taco bell and ate good as hell.Saturday I decided in my mind and heart that Bradley is the biggest asshole to me.I told him I never wanted to talk to him again and as much as I love him,I need to stop hurting.My sister was next to me while we argued online and then she read what he said about me being a fucking drunk,my sister even told me please don't cry.I couldn't help it I cried like I always do.This time it's not like I always say im not gonna call him or what not i'm just never ever gonna talk to him.So I'm so over that whole shit.Worry free,it's like someone told me yesterday don't sweat it he fucked up.I could for once be at peace knowing that it wasn't my fault.

So later that night we drove my sister around to parties and what not,left them at some 15's and David,Angel and I headed out to the movies and saw the ring two it was sooo confusing and some parts were so dumb and funny.Afterwards we decided to go to Concord and chill with all these peeps so we did and had our good time.Angel had to go and so we chilled in the car talking to him about random stuff he's a really nice guy.Hopefully David could be happy because after all I want the best for him.I saw philip last night it's been so long.

I'm soo fucking tired jesus christ anyways im outies...

xoxoxo

Star

p.s it sucks when the one guy who you learn to love unconditionally turns his back on you.

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breakaway [16 Mar 2005|04:44pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

I tried so hard to make everything work out just fine, to where we just had to chill maybe twice a week or three and the rest of the week you could continue to do your things. I can't put 100% it doesn't work that way. I don't want to hurt anymore and that's exactly where I end up always getting hurt. Then I'm the super shady one, the one who can't understand not one bit about anything. So I'm gonna continue doing my thing and be worry free. Because at the end when you set your mind to something it actually ends up working out.


Yesterday, after David got out of work he came and picked me up, I invited him to Mc Donald's we ate let me tell you we ended up driving like three times to the window in order for them to do my order right. After that we went to 7 evlevn I was craving a slurpee and we just talked about stuff. I guess it is nice being friends with someone who actually is being there for you especially in times like this. I was telling him how I wanted to chill tonight and do something our friend from worked invited us to a pool hall so we'll see what happens and I want to go to psychiatric abandoned place with all these people I to want to have an adrenaline rush lol..I was talking to Natasha about moving out and she was telling me about these apartments she use to live in that are 2 bedrooms and the rent was only $666 bad numbers lol and she say's their really nice so David and I have to go check them out and see what's up. Plus that is less then what we would expect to be paying and water being included n what not.

I went to sleep so late yesterday like around 7am,i guess I just couldn't go back to sleep wasn't tired and had so much thinking to do about a lot of things. I don't want to seem like the one who is making the wrong decisions, but it hurts that my supposedly bestfriend can't even chill with me anymore not even for a couple of minutes. I guess he could say it hurts him aswell but the one is really hurting for both is me =/.

Friday I close at work afterwards we're going to Colli and Chris is gonna meet us up, so we're all gonna chill n shyt.Which should be nice, then seeing the usual people in there hopefully no drama, well what am I saying I avoid as much drama as possible.Anyways im gonna call David and see what we're up to tonight.Till another day


t o o d l e s

Star

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